In lieu of being stuck in Lima, Peru, without boats and desperately bored, Team "Boof or Die" as we have modestly labeled ourselves, would like to update those important to us and especially you, the Midwest region of the United States, as to our current and future plans.
1) After consistent bantering from the likes of Joerg, Nate Heydt, and others, some will be very pleased to know that John Kiffymeyer (Kiffy) and Andy McMurray (Maximus), after three years of partnership both on and off the water, have finally decided to tie the knot. We figured that this life is too short to not celebrate love and life.
2) John McConville (Johnny Utah) is most likely jealous.
3) Two of our boats are now operating on what we like to call, "lunahuana" which is aluminium lined bitchothane, various plastic welds, and hope.
4) We are going to start a new nation in Peru, called Freedomville. A place where one can manuever all throughout the country easily finding top quality rivers, reliable logisitcal information, and food that won't envoke projectile vomiting and massive boughts of diaherria.
5) We have spent more time traveling via bus than Cliff Langely has been officially unemployed. It's shocking but true.
6) Andy McMurray (Maximus) and John Ronald McConnville (Johnny Utah) will be the first ever "paddlers" to attempt the Chilean Middle Palguin and it's infamous waterfalls, with a bamboo infused intertube, naked, using only flipflops and stamina.
7) John McConville (Utah) and John Kiffmeyer (Kiffy) know approximately four words in Spanish. In one month they have comprehended and utilized the following words in daily conversation: Cerveza (Beer), El Poon (?), Caliente (hot hot hot), and Los Cerebros (the brains).
8) John McConville "Utah" thinks that because we're in the Americas, he still needs to speak English. Only because "they're" a bit more "browner" then we are, he has since resorted to shouting and has used numerous hand gestures not yet understood by science.
That is all for now. Nothing is scared nor serious.
Donations: In the form of any sort, preferably Pyranha or Jackson creekboats, may be sent to
boofordie@gmail.com whereas those donating will recieve a complimentary 12 month photo calender entitled, "Busty Boys Boofing Boils."
Sincerely, The Team at Boof or Die.
